I apologize again to my readers that I have not posted for a couple weeks. I know some of you look forward to my postings. As of last post I did mention some family matters involving my mother who has schizophrenia. I would like to take some time this week to not only provide information and insight but also share with you some of the truths and myths about the illness. For those here in Canada and Ontario as well as for those in particular that also suffer from or have a family member who suffers from this illness, this blog entry is also intended to give guidance where necessary for certain processes and supports.
I'm going to start with that I have posted a variety of links to the right that will help with understanding and supports such as Canadian Mental Health , Schizophrenia Society of Canada/Ontario, Mayo Clinic (a medical based site that even professionals utilize) and Shepell-fgi (a site for those in Canada or the US that have employer benefits that utilize the service however also can provide interesting articles about a variety of topics). I would like all of you who read that would like further information to take these sites and do your own research and read up on the topic of mental illness. In particular Schizophrenia is the topic that I am most focusing on as it affects me directly.
Growing up with a family member, particularly a parent with the illness is hard. I and my siblings were unaware for the most part, my father though knowing of the illness did not have the supports presented to him nor knew the full extent of the illness and the myths and truths surrounding it. Much like many mental health issues it is one that is highly misunderstood and many take the time, sometimes even in the public eye and media to continue that misunderstanding.
People with this illness have an alternate perception of reality. It may come across as varying forms of depression and multiple personality disorders and can be confused as such sometimes even misdiagnosed, especially for those that were diagnosed so many many years ago when knowledge about the illness was truly at it's minimum and medical practitioners were still finding medication that worked for it. There is no cure. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain and only medication can bring that balance along with in some and most cases psychotherapy . Sometimes it is brought on by traumatic events, even genetically and most often frequents men starting as early as young adulthood but is not limited to men, and can affect women as well though seemingly a lower percentage. Through research I have also found that children of a parent, particularly a mother, would and can have depression or anxiety disorders and run potential of genetically carrying on though that is not often.
My mother is one of those women that, as of today, had to be unfortunately admitted to hospital because she ran risk of hurting herself or another due to her alternate perceptions brought on by this illness. She is not "crazy" or "loopy" though the terms are still used. I don't openly "advertise" that my mother is ill and in fact though it is not something I should be ashamed of it is something that has not ever been openly spoken about and illnesses like this often are the subject of shame and ridicule. This was, in the old days, displayed by locking those people with these illnesses in isolated housing and in some areas with historic background those buildings can be found today still standing. Even growing up, not only was I considered "poor" but also considered to have a "crazy controlling mother". I was often made to feel guilty for it even at a women's shelter later on in life. Made to feel that I was responsible for it and for her actions because I am her daughter and eldest. I would like those of you who have gone through this to take the time to consider this, you are NOT responsible and you are NOT the cause etc. and you should NOT feel guilty or ashamed despite society's wanting us to feel this way. It has taken me a long time and even now still counselling to get rid of these thoughts. It's not my fault she has the illness or is like this in any way, shape or form. It is also often presented in the media that these people are highly violent, have learning disabilities, are always unstable and unclean and can not be acting community members. None of this is the case, in fact quite the opposite.
My mother was and can be abusive, yes, and this was most likely the result of her illness and in bouts of good times where she was on her medication she did admit that she was sorry for it and filled with regret. Again it's hard as a child viewing a role model or parent in this manner and forever being in fear of them. Even today I did not see her when they went to get her because I was in fear she would be extremely angry and try to do something. She apparently co-operated though was afraid.
So how did I get her to the hospital to be assessed you may be asking? Well for here in Ontario, here is the process. You first need to get a form from this link and download the pdf. Fill it in accordingly. Then proceed to the courthouse of the area the person is living, fill out an affidavit and form with a series of questions and supporting documentation supporting your claim and need to have the person be examined. You then need to swear this before the Justice of the Peace after they review it and feel it deemed necessary with sufficient information and knowledge of the situation and person's past history. You must swear it to be true and then they sign it, you bring it to the police whereby they will act upon it and bring said person to the hospital to be examined by an ER doctor, where they then proceed to have them examined by a psychiatrist. If it is determined that the person is to be held more than the standard 72 hours then they will do so and give the person appropriate medical treatment for the length of time deemed necessary by the physician.
So as you see this is not a simple, go get form, fill form and sign and go to the police. This process is put in part because people take advantage and abuse the system forcing people unnecessarily into the hospital when there is in fact no need. Again claiming "they are crazy" when that is not the truth. This prevents that from happening where they will get properly looked after. There is probably a similar process across the country and hopefully for those who read out of country, there is hopefully something remotely similar for you as well and should be researched.
You are probably asking, what type of behavior was she displaying for me to proceed with this. There were many factors over the course of 4-5 years that has led to this. My mother, who is very intelligent and can manage her own finances for the most part though she only finished grade 8 education (another myth that people with this illness have a learning disability is dispelled here, just watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind" as it demonstrates one of the most famous people in our history that had the illness and created binary code!), displayed signs of deteriorating speech patterns and incoherent thoughts and would jump from one thought to another randomly, as well as lack of care to herself and her pet by not eating and doing regular activities such as grocery shopping, cleaning and even maintaining a necessary utility such as gas. She also showed signs of paranoid violent and sexually oriented perceptions or delusions that were resulting in my sister and I not fearing for ourselves but others and her uttering death threats and causing damage to property. My mother also has other medical conditions that are being complicated by this behavior and requires medical attention.
So as you see there were a lot of things going on and knowing she has been off her medication, because yet again another thing most people with any mental illness do, is they go off their medications thinking that they are "better" or ok to do so. This can result in psychotic behavior and in some, though not all and very rarely, results in violent behavior especially when coupled with other drugs or alcohol or certain perceptions over time.
I share my story and her story because I want people to know that you're not alone in this. There are supports and by asking the right questions and researching you can get help and identify when something is wrong. I strongly believe that the public needs to be informed and educated and that there should be more supports more openly available because in reality there are so many affected by mental illness whether we're aware or not. It's all around us. Without getting her help and acting upon this, we may have lost her.
I will keep a regular update as much as possible about the trials and things that I go through not only with this but with my own anxiety and health issues including things such as common cold or even working out or eating healthy and staying positive with self esteem. I also encourage everyone to be selfish sometimes. As a friend of mine said, take time for yourself, how can you help anyone else without helping yourself first? Time to reflect or time to laugh and be happy for yourself even if it's reading a book or watching a funny movie is good for you and takes you away for a bit to refresh your mind.
Anyway that seems to be all I have right at the moment for this week. Take care everyone and until next time.... :)
Friday, November 23, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Mental Health Issues
I apologize for not writing last week however as some of you have noticed, not only life gets in the way but I unfortunately frequently fall ill with colds etc. and things can become well, admittedly depressing. I fight with emotions at times and there are days or weeks where I feel like doing nothing, and I feel down upon myself. I struggle with it on a daily basis.
This leads me yet again to a discussion about mental health. I'd like to share more of my story in hopes to help others with their struggles. Not only do I and other family members deal with bouts of depression and anxiety but my mother, as noted in another entry, fights with schizophrenia. I will be posting links to the link section shortly after writing this to the Schizophrenia Society of Canada and to Canadian Mental Health Association. The reason for this is because I strongly feel that people with mental health issues should be recognized as well as assisted and not pushed through the system as if they are nothing but a nuisance. This article outlines a fine example of this happening.
Another example is unfortunately, my mother. My mother was diagnosed when she was in her 20's with having this illness after a history of unfortunate drug abuse in the 70's and a miscarriage of her second child, what would have become my second half sibling. After the miscarriage she became increasingly ill due to post traumatic stress, she had spent time in and out of hospitals and getting the treatment that she needed however of course my half brother was put through the system and unfortunately we have been unable to connect to him. This is a story not uncommon to many who struggle with this illness and at the time, even more so then, no one knew how to really address it and was of the belief that she was a danger and that she was abusive or in some cases she seemed perfectly normal as if nothing was even happening at home etc.
Sadly that wasn't far from the truth in it's own sad way and later on 4 years ago I spoke to a doctor who advised me that is one of the few that is hard to diagnose and treat as she is on a fine line of knowing and unknowing, abusive and manipulative and at the same time unintentionally doing so. As children we were were unaware of her being off her medication at any given time and unknown to us she was on them but cutting the pills in half. So at least she was on something but, how were we or anyone to really know that she was on, or off it. We aren't babysitters and especially the spouses or children of people with illnesses like this, we don't know what to do, didn't have supports and didn't know who to turn to. We weren't knowledgeable about it. We're not doctors. Sadly also, no one has the right to keep her in hospital and so she even was able, with lawyers advice, sign herself out.
Later on as we grew older and there were a chain of events that occurred that split and tore our family apart. We tried to seek assistance but in the end, even at a shelter that we went to because the abuse had gotten bad enough verbally, mentally and emotionally (minimal physical abuse) , I was told by a counselor that it was I who was responsible for her and that I was to be taking care of her etc. But she is an adult and she should be able to take care of herself. She can when again, she is on meds. I found out that the police can't do anything, the mental health organizations can't do anything and neither can healthcare professionals until she herself seeks treatment or is a danger to herself or others. This unfortunately is law simply because too many take advantage of the system and were putting those who were sane where they shouldn't be and or locking them away in the old days as if they weren't people. People with mental illness, some the most part, can, if assisted properly, live on their own and take care of themselves and become full members of the community.
There are a variety of mental illnesses, some more extreme than others. That being said, what are those of us who are thrust into being a caregiver, or those with children that have illnesses like this to do? Where do we find the supports? Where does the law step in? It is very frustrating especially if a person who is, in my case, a parent, and full adult, has not designated and will not designate a power of attorney.
Here is another link for those who struggle with parents who older adults with various ailments where they can not assist themselves financially or for their own personal care. It's a document that outlines here in Ontario how to go about power of attorney (aka POA) for yourself or if a family member or government official can do so on your behalf if you do not designate someone.
This is very important and everyone should do this. I would probably designate my sister or depending on situation my step mother or father to be mine or if I perhaps had a spouse. But again what of those who don't have family and or spouses? That's when the government or the courts can then step in. Sadly this leaves me in a position where I have a choice, I can step away from it all and let them take over and leave her to the system to get lost in it and might not find the treatment and even end up in the court of law by hurting someone or doing some other act of criminal activity risking as the above article outlined being abused in the system, or I can decide to be her poa for personal care only as she is financially able to take care of things when she is of sound mind or on meds or even before when she was not she was still capable of paying her rent and bills etc. It's a very tough thing and something I fear being faced with.
I fear her control and I fear death too, as we all do but not of myself. No I fear the death of my loved ones and being alone. I fear dying alone but not of death itself. The thought of this brings depression and sadness but some kind of relief like when my little niece passed away with all her suffering finally gone it brought peace.
This is a thing we all face and it is something that ails us all, is what do we do with the loss of a loved one, if they are alive and not well and lost in mind, or lost by death. I will keep this journal updated with any information I find useful like the above links etc. on my journey with this. I don't believe anyone should go at this alone and I am also very thankful and lucky to have such supportive friends and family through it. I have also been told that there is right now a possible plan in place and so I shall have to wait, we must, on my mother's responses and behavior. If she becomes a danger to herself or others she can be put in the hospital and hopefully assessed. That's in all honesty, part of what I hope for.
I'd like to take a bit now to go slightly off topic and suggest reading this link about dealing with Occupational burnout. The reason I bring up this is because quite honestly this connects with other mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety etc. and is one of the leading causes of these type of illnesses even in short bouts just as seasonal depression is something we all suffer from. I know I strongly believe that I am suffering from burnout too. But on the bright side I am making a plan to try to help with this and create something happy in my life. I have to stay positive right?
I leave you now with these thoughts, as sad as they are yes, but be wise and designate someone, talk to family members about doing so for yourself or them and don't forget, spend as much time as possible with loved ones because you never know what might happen the very next day.. few hours or minutes. Every second counts to show them you care and love them, even if on some days they believe, feel or even forget that you do or who you even are.
This leads me yet again to a discussion about mental health. I'd like to share more of my story in hopes to help others with their struggles. Not only do I and other family members deal with bouts of depression and anxiety but my mother, as noted in another entry, fights with schizophrenia. I will be posting links to the link section shortly after writing this to the Schizophrenia Society of Canada and to Canadian Mental Health Association. The reason for this is because I strongly feel that people with mental health issues should be recognized as well as assisted and not pushed through the system as if they are nothing but a nuisance. This article outlines a fine example of this happening.
Another example is unfortunately, my mother. My mother was diagnosed when she was in her 20's with having this illness after a history of unfortunate drug abuse in the 70's and a miscarriage of her second child, what would have become my second half sibling. After the miscarriage she became increasingly ill due to post traumatic stress, she had spent time in and out of hospitals and getting the treatment that she needed however of course my half brother was put through the system and unfortunately we have been unable to connect to him. This is a story not uncommon to many who struggle with this illness and at the time, even more so then, no one knew how to really address it and was of the belief that she was a danger and that she was abusive or in some cases she seemed perfectly normal as if nothing was even happening at home etc.
Sadly that wasn't far from the truth in it's own sad way and later on 4 years ago I spoke to a doctor who advised me that is one of the few that is hard to diagnose and treat as she is on a fine line of knowing and unknowing, abusive and manipulative and at the same time unintentionally doing so. As children we were were unaware of her being off her medication at any given time and unknown to us she was on them but cutting the pills in half. So at least she was on something but, how were we or anyone to really know that she was on, or off it. We aren't babysitters and especially the spouses or children of people with illnesses like this, we don't know what to do, didn't have supports and didn't know who to turn to. We weren't knowledgeable about it. We're not doctors. Sadly also, no one has the right to keep her in hospital and so she even was able, with lawyers advice, sign herself out.
Later on as we grew older and there were a chain of events that occurred that split and tore our family apart. We tried to seek assistance but in the end, even at a shelter that we went to because the abuse had gotten bad enough verbally, mentally and emotionally (minimal physical abuse) , I was told by a counselor that it was I who was responsible for her and that I was to be taking care of her etc. But she is an adult and she should be able to take care of herself. She can when again, she is on meds. I found out that the police can't do anything, the mental health organizations can't do anything and neither can healthcare professionals until she herself seeks treatment or is a danger to herself or others. This unfortunately is law simply because too many take advantage of the system and were putting those who were sane where they shouldn't be and or locking them away in the old days as if they weren't people. People with mental illness, some the most part, can, if assisted properly, live on their own and take care of themselves and become full members of the community.
There are a variety of mental illnesses, some more extreme than others. That being said, what are those of us who are thrust into being a caregiver, or those with children that have illnesses like this to do? Where do we find the supports? Where does the law step in? It is very frustrating especially if a person who is, in my case, a parent, and full adult, has not designated and will not designate a power of attorney.
Here is another link for those who struggle with parents who older adults with various ailments where they can not assist themselves financially or for their own personal care. It's a document that outlines here in Ontario how to go about power of attorney (aka POA) for yourself or if a family member or government official can do so on your behalf if you do not designate someone.
This is very important and everyone should do this. I would probably designate my sister or depending on situation my step mother or father to be mine or if I perhaps had a spouse. But again what of those who don't have family and or spouses? That's when the government or the courts can then step in. Sadly this leaves me in a position where I have a choice, I can step away from it all and let them take over and leave her to the system to get lost in it and might not find the treatment and even end up in the court of law by hurting someone or doing some other act of criminal activity risking as the above article outlined being abused in the system, or I can decide to be her poa for personal care only as she is financially able to take care of things when she is of sound mind or on meds or even before when she was not she was still capable of paying her rent and bills etc. It's a very tough thing and something I fear being faced with.
I fear her control and I fear death too, as we all do but not of myself. No I fear the death of my loved ones and being alone. I fear dying alone but not of death itself. The thought of this brings depression and sadness but some kind of relief like when my little niece passed away with all her suffering finally gone it brought peace.
This is a thing we all face and it is something that ails us all, is what do we do with the loss of a loved one, if they are alive and not well and lost in mind, or lost by death. I will keep this journal updated with any information I find useful like the above links etc. on my journey with this. I don't believe anyone should go at this alone and I am also very thankful and lucky to have such supportive friends and family through it. I have also been told that there is right now a possible plan in place and so I shall have to wait, we must, on my mother's responses and behavior. If she becomes a danger to herself or others she can be put in the hospital and hopefully assessed. That's in all honesty, part of what I hope for.
I'd like to take a bit now to go slightly off topic and suggest reading this link about dealing with Occupational burnout. The reason I bring up this is because quite honestly this connects with other mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety etc. and is one of the leading causes of these type of illnesses even in short bouts just as seasonal depression is something we all suffer from. I know I strongly believe that I am suffering from burnout too. But on the bright side I am making a plan to try to help with this and create something happy in my life. I have to stay positive right?
I leave you now with these thoughts, as sad as they are yes, but be wise and designate someone, talk to family members about doing so for yourself or them and don't forget, spend as much time as possible with loved ones because you never know what might happen the very next day.. few hours or minutes. Every second counts to show them you care and love them, even if on some days they believe, feel or even forget that you do or who you even are.
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