This week there are a few things I'd like to write about such as goals, "sitting disease", zumba and of course healthy eating. You might think that some of this is boring and ok I've reviewed some stuff before but... Let's start with goals.
As I said before this is a blog not only to post interesting topics on health but for my own personal goals to be healthier. I'm going to start with the fact that I want to fit into my size 8 pants again and be at least where I should be which is just over being 100 lbs but right now I'm sitting at 157 last I checked and that being said I would like to lose at least 30 lbs by the beginning of next year. My original goal of doing this by my birthday, December 4th, is right now next to impossible only because that is in just over one month and losing that much weight in such a short period would be unhealthy so my aim is to be 30 lbs lighter by at least February or March.
So how shall I achieve this goal? Well this is where my talk about "sitting disease" comes in. I share this infograph with you. Why because there was also a recent study done and posted in yahoo about it as well here. Basically this is what I've been trying to say about my current job. Not only has it made me heavier in the bottom but definitely not healthy overall and though I could petition for change in the call center environment there would need to be enough of us to even do a thing about it. I think it should be mandatory hour lunch or at least an hour work out or stretch session of a half hour and then the other half hour to eat a decent lunch, and by decent I don't mean the grease filled stuff from the cafe or eating out. I mean it's your choice per say what you want to do with that one half hour to eat but stretching would at least make us feel so much better. Not to mention that they are saying that the health risks of inactivity is shocking! More shocking than we thought! This leads me to want to be more active but also wanting to eat healthier, which by the way if no one has seen yet I recently posted a link to the right here of a site that helps you determine when food is still good or not so that we're not risking our health by eating items that are past their expiration date that are in boxes or canned. :) I also have decided perhaps I'll try a cleansing that my parents are trying out of ginger in tea. Ginger has a lot of great properties and since I have a tendency to get sick a lot, flu and cold season is coming up people and Ginger is great for preventing or helping in flu's and colds and sore throats.
How do you make this tea? Well my parents have just cut up and peeled the root and put it in boiling tea however you can also use 2 inch slices in boiling 4 cups water with slice of lemon and honey to taste. You can also try using ginger in other recipes as well and it makes for great flavoring. Ginger also prevents and aids in cancer treatment. For women and men it can prevent colon cancer and for women ovarian cancer apparently. This isn't shocking as is was also used in Chinese medicine for a cure for menstrual cramps, which admittedly I do suffer horribly from at times and I'm sure many of you ladies reading might have experienced those or know of someone who has and the pain we suffer.
As for tea in general, well needless to say though it has more caffeine than coffee, it's better for you and the best replacement for pop/cola as you can control the sugar content though right now I'm opting for water or flavored mineral water to get me started. I am trying to flush my system of carbonated drinks. Though this will take some work and a better routine in the morning I'm sure, this will help me feel better. I also am opting for things like nuts and trail mix rather than chips or candy right now. I note, trying to do so. It's hard when you cave and have those cravings, but remember indulging once doesn't mean you've completely gone off track and there are other alternatives in making things while keeping what you love in smaller portions.
Next, to reach my goal there is the option of more activity. And what kind of activity do you choose? Well there are a variety and as I said in previous posts, always opt for something fun and something that excites you and makes you happy and feel good. I personally have opted for playing the Wii and going on walks to and from work. You might not think that the Wii is enough activity but let me tell you, you get the right games and you'll be telling me you were wrong later on that thought! So without further ado here is my brief review of the new and previous Zumba games for the Wii console.
The first Zumba fitness game is good and I like the music and it gives you options of classes etc. and I haven't really gotten that far into it. But it worked for what it was made for and does have a lot of good routines and you can get the hang of it. The second one got a little more realistic with more venue options and music as well as goals etc. and I liked that more and now the Zumba Fitness: Core workout has come out and I just had to have it and omg!! Amazing! I love the music, the dances and the more realistic view and venues as well as the various options including customizing your own playlist which the others didn't really have other than song by song choices. I broke a sweat after the two songs I did to try it out and then decided to break it even more into a sweat because I was having soo much fun with the cool routines that I did a 20 minute workout. You can also chose your workout length by 20 min, 40min or an hour workout which is great if you want to really challenge yourself. It truly does work your overall core. Believe me, for someone who doesn't do a lot of dancing but loves dance and music, I was sweating and it was worth it!
I felt better after, my headache was gone, my backache was gone and what's even better, I actually feel like I've lost a little bit of weight. I was up and moving and shaking off those pounds.. even if it was minuscule lol!! I recommend it for those that really want a workout and really love music and dance and want to have fun but don't want to leave the comfort of their home, don't have the time to look for a gym let alone one with classes and don't have the money to pay for full on membership at a gym. Also too it's great to do with friends or family and then you can party it up while doing a great workout together! So that's even better! Benefits, benefits and more benefits!
Overall this is how I intend on losing weight. Now.. to stay motivated and really push to meet this goal. I admit that I also need encouragement from friends and family which is highly recommended as well as keeping track of progress and a journal, which is what this is also for :) to share my journey. I may not take pics, I may just record the progress but it's going to be worth it because perhaps maybe, just maybe I won't be so sick all the time and can actually live longer in better health.
I also just want to say to those that are embarrassed to do such things such as dance or just get out there and do a walk because you are self conscious or feel people are staring because you're overweight or any number of other reasons, I know it's hard. I know that it's tough to get past that and going or even on days of depression it can be worse. But you have to try for the sake of your own health, to live a full life, for you! Don't worry about what anyone else thinks! Get on a routine that works for you that makes you happy and does what you need it to,to make your body and mind and heart healthy. Before you do though make sure you always consult a doctor or know that you can work with it especially with food items and diets as well as don't over exert yourself. A little bit at a time is better than an overabundance at first and hurting yourself. Remember in a previous post.. I said "baby steps". And if you need encouragement look to those that really care about you and will encourage you not those that will bring you down.
Now... I am heading to bed because I have work tomorrow and as depressing as that may be, I can honestly say that I can then come home to a couple of very happy and fluffy kitties and do my workout and feel good about myself for doing it! And no one can tell me otherwise :) Have a good week everyone!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Mental Health Awareness and Bullying
This week I'd like to write about a few things regarding mental health and bullying and share my story. But first I'd also like to say thank you to those who are reading or even briefly viewing this blog. As I said in previous posts it's a blog to help and share and I really look forward in the future to hearing and sharing your stories, whenever my readers are ready. I encourage everyone to be positive about themselves as well as get some informational items from this blog as well.
So without further ado, here is this week's topics. The past few weeks the news has been buzzing here in Canada with multiple stories about bullying, particularly a BC girl by the name of Amanda Todd. I will say now that I send my condolences to her friends and family and I feel that this should never have happened to her. There is no reason for anyone to be bullied, tormented, blackmailed, abused and beaten by peers or others in general to any point especially to make such a young life feel that they need to end theirs short because they can't go on with the pain any further.
This story makes me angry. It is one that I've heard multiple times even here in Ontario, a young boy, in and around the age of 10 I'd say was reported about this past summer, early spring, as committing suicide for much of the same thing. Bullied for being disabled and his mother's passing of illness, and they tried to do something, even went to court and because he was so fearful of facing them in court and it going forward to become perhaps worse torment, he committed suicide. In the end the bullies were not properly punished as their main witness, was now no longer there. Then there are other multiple stories in the US, Canada and I'm sure many other countries that there are teens and adults that are suffering from depression, bullying etc. that have committed suicide. One other such story, in regards to mental health, was that of a hockey player here in Canada where they had set up an "unofficial memorial honouring late Vancouver Canucks forward rick Rypien" who suffered from depression and in August last year committed suicide as well of which the memorial was defaced this year during Mental Health Awareness week no less, due to disrespectful teens and fans of Justin Bieber after his concert in the area. This being said teens or children now a days seem to have no concern or knowledge of any of these things and they should, it should be discussed. It should be talked about openly and to not only stop bullying but for children to have a place to go to talk about their feelings and so that they don't feel isolated.
All of these stories sicken me and make me angry that there isn't something more to be done. In Amanda's case I really feel sickened when I hear that people actually taunted her and wanted her to die, that they even now have no respect and had such... hate! It's pure hate! And they say social media is to blame or they say it's gotten worse but in reality it hasn't really gotten worse. It's a tool that's been used just as this blog is or the newspaper to make it more widespread knowledge of what's going on in the world and more accessible but it's just the same as before. And this is like saying guns kill people...no it's people kill people because the gun just as social media is, is in fact an immanent object and without the power behind it, it does nothing but sit there.
I'd like to tell a bit of my story now. Not all of it is included I might add and there are parts that I leave out for good reason for the time being. I'm a 29 year old woman (soon to be 30 in December) who has faced the battles of feeling just as Amanda did, abused by both peers and even at home. My father unfortunately because of his working a lot and at odd times (and because my mother could hide it well!), knew nothing of the abuse I was getting from my mother and on a regular basis, we lived with someone who had schizophrenia, was most likely off her medication the majority of the time unaware some of the time that she was actually hurting me and not taking care of me and beating me with not just her hand but her words. Words to a child, just as tone or actions to an animal, don't know the difference and if you drill it in on a regular basis that they're stupid, they will believe that. Then on top of that going to school I got beat up, pushed around and told on a regular basis for being a girl and for being poor that I was ugly, stupid, weak, a cry baby, a nothing and a nobody, that no one loved me. (I also might add as a side note that even my father and siblings were abused by my mother and peers in many different ways and that we as kids were brainwashed. Not all people with mental illness do abuse either but unfortunately in my case it was one of the rare extremes. Not everyone even knows they are being abused and it's a vicious cycle which is another topic for health at a later date and a story on it's own.)
It wasn't until one day, that yes, I, on several occasions wanted to kill myself, was told by a very good friend the same age as myself that I had more to live for. I had siblings to look after and make sure they weren't bullied and tormented. I had friends, family and people that I could look out for and that actually cared. This.. was in grade 4. From that day on, and though perhaps he didn't know it then but I sure hope he knows it now, that friend made a huge difference in my life. All I can say is, thank you. Thank you for being there in that one moment because it wasn't just that I wanted to run away to the woods, it wasn't just that I didn't want to come into the school. I wanted to die. I wanted no one to find me and I hated everyone that embarrassed and humiliated me. But over time I've come to forgive some of those people. They may even have had their own issues at home and their own self esteem shattered by peers. And as I've gotten older I can admittedly say that we also try to copy our parents, or adult role models and if we don't have the right role model then we react most often the same. We treat others the way we were treated. But from that day I chose... I chose not to be mean to others though the thought has sometimes crossed my mind and in light of what I've gone through yes I may even voice that aloud being angry but I would never act upon it and even those words sometimes I regret it.
My story doesn't stop there either. I have spent 29 years battling now with my own self esteem, anxiety and seemingly bouts of depression, a mother who has schizophrenia and abused me verbally even when I was in college and lived with her for the most part for 26 years of my life. I also spent 3 years of college feeling belittled and degraded by my peers who were for that matter, younger than myself or the same age. And in my third year I was harassed and even more humiliated and felt like a no one, stupid and that I'm a good for nothing. I might add that those words of saying I'm crazy like my mother or even those horrible things that I can't bring myself to say, still stick with me and haunt me. Though I also passed with at least a total of 70% in my course and got my certificate, I could have done better. I also admit that now I am not even in my field that I went to school for which is Multimedia Design, and on some days I truly wish that I was just to make myself feel successful and I feel yet again belittled by my own self.
Going forward a year later or more, I put myself in a relationship that was not healthy either. This person, I believed to be a friend and stupidly decided to be "benefits" with (which ladies and gents, no I'm not a whore and no I would never ever do it again, as it was a true mistake and I felt that I loved this person, I should I say the person I believed he was;I was naive), treated me like scum. He would tell me I was fat by asking if I was "preggo" and patting my belly and back then, being 5 years ago, I only weighed in at 98 lbs!! Now I have a bit of pudginess and weigh at my height of 4'10 3/4" at 157 lbs the last I weighed myself 3 months ago. This person also wrote me some really nasty emails indicating that to him I was nothing more than somewhere to stick it and that I was an idiot for believing he even remotely cared and that I was his whore at the time.
So, that's my story and all I can say is that I have an actual understanding of how people are mistreated and go through this. I also for the most part will not take any more bullshit from others in this regard. I might complain about working conditions, I might say I need a new job and a new boss but, I'm not being bullied to that extent and trampled on. I know when to stand my ground now. But that also means too that I will and always fight for those that are being bullied and abused in any way shape or form both men and women. I would pick you up off the ground if I saw you pushed, give you my seat if you needed it on the bus, let you cry on my shoulder if you just needed to let it out even if I didn't know you. And I've had this happen.
I keep telling myself that my purpose, yes we all have one, in life is to help others. If that means just writing my story and sharing it on this blog and having even one person connect with it and say you know what.. there are others that feel this way too and that helps them to see the light and say also " I don't want to kill myself because I too have a purpose" and there is hope, then that is what it means. No one should have to go through this.
I admit that some might even and have in another journal of mine out there in the vastness of internet hyperspace, written nasty comments or will, and that they take great pleasure in putting people down or hunting them and stalking them and being creeps, monsters and sickos. Some just think it's just a game and fun because it's not hurting anyone as it's via words, it's on the web where they can't be found. Well let me tell those people who do those things, you need help! Lots and lots of help and you are the ones who need counselling. You need to confront your own self esteem demons or even look in the mirror. Be positive about yourself and let your own scars heal. For those who go to extremes like Amanda Todd's perverted blackmailer, those people should be in jail because it's a criminal act and you will some day be found if not for the crime against her for yet another crime you've done and or will commit in the future and I hope that you get stopped and justice served. Karma is out there hunting you.
For those that see themselves like Amanda Todd or others who have passed did, please I beg you do not end your life. You have a life and like me you can make a difference. Though they say the loudest voice is heard after their dead, it's not true. You make a huge difference just by being that small difference in someone else's life, a smile on a rainy or bad day, a helping hand with groceries to an old folk or even just holding someone and helping them through other tough times because you've seen it.. we each have a story, young or old, rich or poor, male or female, gay or straight, religious or non religious, colored or not. Doesn't matter. No one should be subject to it.
Bullying and mental health, both are our own inside wars at home. It is war. Remember it is not the weapon that does the act, it is the person holding the weapon and right now the weapon happens to be social media so use it as a tool instead and turn it around and fight back against discriminatory acts. Do not judge a book by it's cover, read the story first, then pass judgement but don't toss it into the fire to burn as someone else might want to read that story and love and cherish it more than you do.
So without further ado, here is this week's topics. The past few weeks the news has been buzzing here in Canada with multiple stories about bullying, particularly a BC girl by the name of Amanda Todd. I will say now that I send my condolences to her friends and family and I feel that this should never have happened to her. There is no reason for anyone to be bullied, tormented, blackmailed, abused and beaten by peers or others in general to any point especially to make such a young life feel that they need to end theirs short because they can't go on with the pain any further.
This story makes me angry. It is one that I've heard multiple times even here in Ontario, a young boy, in and around the age of 10 I'd say was reported about this past summer, early spring, as committing suicide for much of the same thing. Bullied for being disabled and his mother's passing of illness, and they tried to do something, even went to court and because he was so fearful of facing them in court and it going forward to become perhaps worse torment, he committed suicide. In the end the bullies were not properly punished as their main witness, was now no longer there. Then there are other multiple stories in the US, Canada and I'm sure many other countries that there are teens and adults that are suffering from depression, bullying etc. that have committed suicide. One other such story, in regards to mental health, was that of a hockey player here in Canada where they had set up an "unofficial memorial honouring late Vancouver Canucks forward rick Rypien" who suffered from depression and in August last year committed suicide as well of which the memorial was defaced this year during Mental Health Awareness week no less, due to disrespectful teens and fans of Justin Bieber after his concert in the area. This being said teens or children now a days seem to have no concern or knowledge of any of these things and they should, it should be discussed. It should be talked about openly and to not only stop bullying but for children to have a place to go to talk about their feelings and so that they don't feel isolated.
All of these stories sicken me and make me angry that there isn't something more to be done. In Amanda's case I really feel sickened when I hear that people actually taunted her and wanted her to die, that they even now have no respect and had such... hate! It's pure hate! And they say social media is to blame or they say it's gotten worse but in reality it hasn't really gotten worse. It's a tool that's been used just as this blog is or the newspaper to make it more widespread knowledge of what's going on in the world and more accessible but it's just the same as before. And this is like saying guns kill people...no it's people kill people because the gun just as social media is, is in fact an immanent object and without the power behind it, it does nothing but sit there.
I'd like to tell a bit of my story now. Not all of it is included I might add and there are parts that I leave out for good reason for the time being. I'm a 29 year old woman (soon to be 30 in December) who has faced the battles of feeling just as Amanda did, abused by both peers and even at home. My father unfortunately because of his working a lot and at odd times (and because my mother could hide it well!), knew nothing of the abuse I was getting from my mother and on a regular basis, we lived with someone who had schizophrenia, was most likely off her medication the majority of the time unaware some of the time that she was actually hurting me and not taking care of me and beating me with not just her hand but her words. Words to a child, just as tone or actions to an animal, don't know the difference and if you drill it in on a regular basis that they're stupid, they will believe that. Then on top of that going to school I got beat up, pushed around and told on a regular basis for being a girl and for being poor that I was ugly, stupid, weak, a cry baby, a nothing and a nobody, that no one loved me. (I also might add as a side note that even my father and siblings were abused by my mother and peers in many different ways and that we as kids were brainwashed. Not all people with mental illness do abuse either but unfortunately in my case it was one of the rare extremes. Not everyone even knows they are being abused and it's a vicious cycle which is another topic for health at a later date and a story on it's own.)
It wasn't until one day, that yes, I, on several occasions wanted to kill myself, was told by a very good friend the same age as myself that I had more to live for. I had siblings to look after and make sure they weren't bullied and tormented. I had friends, family and people that I could look out for and that actually cared. This.. was in grade 4. From that day on, and though perhaps he didn't know it then but I sure hope he knows it now, that friend made a huge difference in my life. All I can say is, thank you. Thank you for being there in that one moment because it wasn't just that I wanted to run away to the woods, it wasn't just that I didn't want to come into the school. I wanted to die. I wanted no one to find me and I hated everyone that embarrassed and humiliated me. But over time I've come to forgive some of those people. They may even have had their own issues at home and their own self esteem shattered by peers. And as I've gotten older I can admittedly say that we also try to copy our parents, or adult role models and if we don't have the right role model then we react most often the same. We treat others the way we were treated. But from that day I chose... I chose not to be mean to others though the thought has sometimes crossed my mind and in light of what I've gone through yes I may even voice that aloud being angry but I would never act upon it and even those words sometimes I regret it.
My story doesn't stop there either. I have spent 29 years battling now with my own self esteem, anxiety and seemingly bouts of depression, a mother who has schizophrenia and abused me verbally even when I was in college and lived with her for the most part for 26 years of my life. I also spent 3 years of college feeling belittled and degraded by my peers who were for that matter, younger than myself or the same age. And in my third year I was harassed and even more humiliated and felt like a no one, stupid and that I'm a good for nothing. I might add that those words of saying I'm crazy like my mother or even those horrible things that I can't bring myself to say, still stick with me and haunt me. Though I also passed with at least a total of 70% in my course and got my certificate, I could have done better. I also admit that now I am not even in my field that I went to school for which is Multimedia Design, and on some days I truly wish that I was just to make myself feel successful and I feel yet again belittled by my own self.
Going forward a year later or more, I put myself in a relationship that was not healthy either. This person, I believed to be a friend and stupidly decided to be "benefits" with (which ladies and gents, no I'm not a whore and no I would never ever do it again, as it was a true mistake and I felt that I loved this person, I should I say the person I believed he was;I was naive), treated me like scum. He would tell me I was fat by asking if I was "preggo" and patting my belly and back then, being 5 years ago, I only weighed in at 98 lbs!! Now I have a bit of pudginess and weigh at my height of 4'10 3/4" at 157 lbs the last I weighed myself 3 months ago. This person also wrote me some really nasty emails indicating that to him I was nothing more than somewhere to stick it and that I was an idiot for believing he even remotely cared and that I was his whore at the time.
So, that's my story and all I can say is that I have an actual understanding of how people are mistreated and go through this. I also for the most part will not take any more bullshit from others in this regard. I might complain about working conditions, I might say I need a new job and a new boss but, I'm not being bullied to that extent and trampled on. I know when to stand my ground now. But that also means too that I will and always fight for those that are being bullied and abused in any way shape or form both men and women. I would pick you up off the ground if I saw you pushed, give you my seat if you needed it on the bus, let you cry on my shoulder if you just needed to let it out even if I didn't know you. And I've had this happen.
I keep telling myself that my purpose, yes we all have one, in life is to help others. If that means just writing my story and sharing it on this blog and having even one person connect with it and say you know what.. there are others that feel this way too and that helps them to see the light and say also " I don't want to kill myself because I too have a purpose" and there is hope, then that is what it means. No one should have to go through this.
I admit that some might even and have in another journal of mine out there in the vastness of internet hyperspace, written nasty comments or will, and that they take great pleasure in putting people down or hunting them and stalking them and being creeps, monsters and sickos. Some just think it's just a game and fun because it's not hurting anyone as it's via words, it's on the web where they can't be found. Well let me tell those people who do those things, you need help! Lots and lots of help and you are the ones who need counselling. You need to confront your own self esteem demons or even look in the mirror. Be positive about yourself and let your own scars heal. For those who go to extremes like Amanda Todd's perverted blackmailer, those people should be in jail because it's a criminal act and you will some day be found if not for the crime against her for yet another crime you've done and or will commit in the future and I hope that you get stopped and justice served. Karma is out there hunting you.
For those that see themselves like Amanda Todd or others who have passed did, please I beg you do not end your life. You have a life and like me you can make a difference. Though they say the loudest voice is heard after their dead, it's not true. You make a huge difference just by being that small difference in someone else's life, a smile on a rainy or bad day, a helping hand with groceries to an old folk or even just holding someone and helping them through other tough times because you've seen it.. we each have a story, young or old, rich or poor, male or female, gay or straight, religious or non religious, colored or not. Doesn't matter. No one should be subject to it.
Bullying and mental health, both are our own inside wars at home. It is war. Remember it is not the weapon that does the act, it is the person holding the weapon and right now the weapon happens to be social media so use it as a tool instead and turn it around and fight back against discriminatory acts. Do not judge a book by it's cover, read the story first, then pass judgement but don't toss it into the fire to burn as someone else might want to read that story and love and cherish it more than you do.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Me Time, Goals and Facing the Procrastination Monster
Ok so last week I talked about stress, job and ergonomic components. I also mentioned previously that this blog is also intended to be a motivator for myself not just others to stay active and healthy in many different ways. So this week, I'm going to talk a little bit more about my goals, especially since we're coming on the closing of yet another year in a few months and New Years, though far away as it may seem, is creeping up on us fast! My question here is, how many of us encounter the holiday rut? How many of us make resolutions that again are unreasonable or even just don't bother to do because we conveniently "forget"? I can tell you that I am among you that do this and do it frequently! It does't matter whether it's healthy eating, being more active, going somewhere or making the goal to create something, I've become, in essence, a master procrastinator!
I am also haunted by those negative feelings of self doubt and overall low self esteem. I admittedly, fear, doing these things and sometimes I need a booster or just a friend or family member telling me, "you can do it!". I was recently reading an article that is from Writer's Digest, it was on their site, and a blog entry from an author, who described self doubt as a form of monster or gremlin that needed to be banished when it comes to writing or the creative process. But this doesn't just apply to writing, it applies to any process including staying healthy in any form.
Staying healthy also doesn't just consist of better eating habits and regular exercise, but exercising our brains and our creativity and keeping ourselves happy. This blog isn't just about physical health but our overall well-being when it comes to emotions and mental stimulus. Emotions, especially when it's been drilled into our heads that we should feel like crap about ourselves by other people, take a lot to overcome. It takes a lot to overcome that voice in the back of our heads repeating to us that we're no good, we're crap, that we can't do it or that we're incompetent, or stupid. Sometimes we might even find ourselves saying "no I can't fit into that and I never will" and so we binge eat or don't eat, or even find ourselves saying we're no good for that relationship so why even bother?
I'm no health professional, so I can't say what works for everyone, but I can say what works for me and I can post it here for you to try or relate to. It's my story of a journey of wellness in many aspects of life. I need it and I need to make some new goals. Goals also will change over time because we also have a horrible habit, as humans, to put unattainable or unreasonable goals ahead of us. However, this week, I am setting some long term goals that I think will be reachable for myself with obtainable baby steps.
I know that thus far my working environment is now at such a negative and critical point that I soon need out and my intention or goal for the new year is to get a new job. That is goal 1. Goal 2, is to be more creative of which I'm already on this journey by creating and designing my Halloween costume which is a Steam-punk design that I've been wanting to do forever! I got myself a sewing machine and I have my awesome friend and step-mom Rachel to help me with the project which right there gives me even more of a boost of confidence as I don't feel I can't achieve my design and can truly make it ...alive!!!
The next goals are of course a little more difficult I think, as I want to lose weight and not be ill ALL the time! People have noticed this since I was a child that I'm just sick! So step one in this goal is to start eating a bit better (and taking vitamins!) , though this Thanksgiving weekend I didn't so much haha! I will be aiming to work that off though with walking, more working out and attempting to schedule that in the mornings rather than just light evening workouts on a more regular basis. As I said though, I keep putting it off. So I have to find some kind of motivator and track it as Dr. Oz recommends, as to how I feel when I do, and to get up in the morning before work. I just feel so tired when I go to get up at 7:20 am and I don't want to move. I look at the clock and say to myself "just ten more minutes please!!" and smack the alarm to snooze. But the longer I sleep I have noticed more of tension headaches/migraines as I don't eat breakfast at the same time on my days off. This I might add can contribute to headaches and not meeting those goals of losing weight for anyone is routine and the breaking of.
The next thing is of course the big one, be even more positive. I try to hear my niece in my head saying "come on Auntie ! You can do it!! You're ok!" and seeing her smile at me cheering me on instead of those horrible voices of negative people all my life telling me those negative and cruel things. I've worked very hard to get where I am, to have a job, roof over my head, pay my own bills. And yes I had help; there is no shame in that either! We all need a little push here and there to get where we're going. But I know that I can be more successful, and happier, just knowing that I have helped someone else, done my part and my job and have accomplished something, even if it is that small baby step in the right direction to make life a better place.
Something else I'd like to mention to us ladies especially!! Something we massively don't notice but has been somewhat touched upon , especially in my previous journals regarding media, is that we don't take time for ourselves. And this is what this is all about as well. As women I find it's expected that we take care of everything and put everyone else before us. I do it all the time even though I'm not a mom or don't have a husband. I do have family and I do have my kitties and friends and I allow myself to get walked on here and there if not quite a lot of the time or just simply put everyone else first because I care. It's a psychological thing drilled into me by 1. negative people and 2. the surrounding influences by media stating that it's my duty as a woman to do so, from birth this is drilled in. Now I can imagine guys have somewhat the same pressure but not nearly as much so and in a different way but it's more expected that guys are going to go out and do whatever and for whoever and they can do what they want. Well this is for me, this is what I want, I want to chill out and do ME time!
So alas, this is the last thing I have this week, do things for yourself, even if it's just a relaxing nap or face mask, a hot bath, read a book, take a walk, do your favorite dance or exercise, do your favorite hobby and create! Create something beautiful and share it with others. We only have one life and we should be living it! Make reasonable goals and get help where and when needed! Until next week everyone!!!
I am also haunted by those negative feelings of self doubt and overall low self esteem. I admittedly, fear, doing these things and sometimes I need a booster or just a friend or family member telling me, "you can do it!". I was recently reading an article that is from Writer's Digest, it was on their site, and a blog entry from an author, who described self doubt as a form of monster or gremlin that needed to be banished when it comes to writing or the creative process. But this doesn't just apply to writing, it applies to any process including staying healthy in any form.
Staying healthy also doesn't just consist of better eating habits and regular exercise, but exercising our brains and our creativity and keeping ourselves happy. This blog isn't just about physical health but our overall well-being when it comes to emotions and mental stimulus. Emotions, especially when it's been drilled into our heads that we should feel like crap about ourselves by other people, take a lot to overcome. It takes a lot to overcome that voice in the back of our heads repeating to us that we're no good, we're crap, that we can't do it or that we're incompetent, or stupid. Sometimes we might even find ourselves saying "no I can't fit into that and I never will" and so we binge eat or don't eat, or even find ourselves saying we're no good for that relationship so why even bother?
I'm no health professional, so I can't say what works for everyone, but I can say what works for me and I can post it here for you to try or relate to. It's my story of a journey of wellness in many aspects of life. I need it and I need to make some new goals. Goals also will change over time because we also have a horrible habit, as humans, to put unattainable or unreasonable goals ahead of us. However, this week, I am setting some long term goals that I think will be reachable for myself with obtainable baby steps.
I know that thus far my working environment is now at such a negative and critical point that I soon need out and my intention or goal for the new year is to get a new job. That is goal 1. Goal 2, is to be more creative of which I'm already on this journey by creating and designing my Halloween costume which is a Steam-punk design that I've been wanting to do forever! I got myself a sewing machine and I have my awesome friend and step-mom Rachel to help me with the project which right there gives me even more of a boost of confidence as I don't feel I can't achieve my design and can truly make it ...alive!!!
The next goals are of course a little more difficult I think, as I want to lose weight and not be ill ALL the time! People have noticed this since I was a child that I'm just sick! So step one in this goal is to start eating a bit better (and taking vitamins!) , though this Thanksgiving weekend I didn't so much haha! I will be aiming to work that off though with walking, more working out and attempting to schedule that in the mornings rather than just light evening workouts on a more regular basis. As I said though, I keep putting it off. So I have to find some kind of motivator and track it as Dr. Oz recommends, as to how I feel when I do, and to get up in the morning before work. I just feel so tired when I go to get up at 7:20 am and I don't want to move. I look at the clock and say to myself "just ten more minutes please!!" and smack the alarm to snooze. But the longer I sleep I have noticed more of tension headaches/migraines as I don't eat breakfast at the same time on my days off. This I might add can contribute to headaches and not meeting those goals of losing weight for anyone is routine and the breaking of.
The next thing is of course the big one, be even more positive. I try to hear my niece in my head saying "come on Auntie ! You can do it!! You're ok!" and seeing her smile at me cheering me on instead of those horrible voices of negative people all my life telling me those negative and cruel things. I've worked very hard to get where I am, to have a job, roof over my head, pay my own bills. And yes I had help; there is no shame in that either! We all need a little push here and there to get where we're going. But I know that I can be more successful, and happier, just knowing that I have helped someone else, done my part and my job and have accomplished something, even if it is that small baby step in the right direction to make life a better place.
Something else I'd like to mention to us ladies especially!! Something we massively don't notice but has been somewhat touched upon , especially in my previous journals regarding media, is that we don't take time for ourselves. And this is what this is all about as well. As women I find it's expected that we take care of everything and put everyone else before us. I do it all the time even though I'm not a mom or don't have a husband. I do have family and I do have my kitties and friends and I allow myself to get walked on here and there if not quite a lot of the time or just simply put everyone else first because I care. It's a psychological thing drilled into me by 1. negative people and 2. the surrounding influences by media stating that it's my duty as a woman to do so, from birth this is drilled in. Now I can imagine guys have somewhat the same pressure but not nearly as much so and in a different way but it's more expected that guys are going to go out and do whatever and for whoever and they can do what they want. Well this is for me, this is what I want, I want to chill out and do ME time!
So alas, this is the last thing I have this week, do things for yourself, even if it's just a relaxing nap or face mask, a hot bath, read a book, take a walk, do your favorite dance or exercise, do your favorite hobby and create! Create something beautiful and share it with others. We only have one life and we should be living it! Make reasonable goals and get help where and when needed! Until next week everyone!!!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Health in the Work Environment
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and this week's entry is about work space and health.
Today I went out to coffee/dinner with a friend I used to work with. I have realized a few things not only thanks to the chat we had but over the past few weeks just things that have happened at work that have pushed me to breakdown and even cry. My work space or work environment overall is not a good one. It has stifled my creativity for near three years now. I have put projects and even my own site on hold due to being mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted by the time I get home.
Don't get me wrong, for those who know me and where I work currently, it's not the job itself that is frustrating so much as the environment where there is no room for growth or advancement, there is a lot of negativity among my peers about the job and a lot of pressure to do things in an unreasonable amount of time or expectations overall that we are going to be there for longer periods of time as if we have no life! So that being said a lot of us are not only sitting on our butts for 8 hours or longer and eating bad cafeteria food that sometimes turns out it has mold on it, but also we are sitting in a negative area where we have no windows, with re-filtered air, dust bunnies and what looks like mold/dust in the vents.
Don't get me wrong, for those who know me and where I work currently, it's not the job itself that is frustrating so much as the environment where there is no room for growth or advancement, there is a lot of negativity among my peers about the job and a lot of pressure to do things in an unreasonable amount of time or expectations overall that we are going to be there for longer periods of time as if we have no life! So that being said a lot of us are not only sitting on our butts for 8 hours or longer and eating bad cafeteria food that sometimes turns out it has mold on it, but also we are sitting in a negative area where we have no windows, with re-filtered air, dust bunnies and what looks like mold/dust in the vents.
Needless to say my coming cartoon that I have thought up thanks to my dad, which I have every intention of doodling out, is not far off of my cats taking calls and walking into the call center with gas masks and dust bunnies lurking around every corner and coming out from vents from the ceiling in the masses. Not only this but I don't know how many times I've caught people not washing their hands and just using sanitizer after using the restrooms or eating and the lounge computers that people actually eat at are not wiped down proper or cleaned either. The carpets look like they've been tramped on so much that no amount of cleaning or vacuuming is going to clean them. They use too much bleach which is overwhelming when mopping down the cafeteria floors, enough to make someone like me feel nauseated and I'm allergic to the stuff on top of it! Also too they do not use sanitizing sprays that are good for the environment but are more chemical which I too am allergic to.
I also note that we do not have proper ergonomic set up for everyone that sits at the computer, this should be mandated and should be critical to those that are old and young alike that have arthritis issues etc. or even just in general, because let me tell you typing is hell! and even holding the mouse...talk about the beginnings carpal tunnel!! My hand has frozen up like a charlie horse 3 times in the past 2 months and both my hands feel like they're going to fall off!
I also note that we do not have proper ergonomic set up for everyone that sits at the computer, this should be mandated and should be critical to those that are old and young alike that have arthritis issues etc. or even just in general, because let me tell you typing is hell! and even holding the mouse...talk about the beginnings carpal tunnel!! My hand has frozen up like a charlie horse 3 times in the past 2 months and both my hands feel like they're going to fall off!
I'm just waiting for my hand to freeze up in front of them so that I can say look at what is happening! However after my talk today I am going to go to the doctor, unfortunately it will have to wait until next week because I can't take time off, talk about pressure and you could lose your job after 4 points with no fed days left. I'm sorry I used my 10 designated days which by the way according to government these are not supposed to be used as "sick" days but family emergency days/bereavement days, because I had legit family issues and legit health issues that required, by doctor's note, to actually stay at home and rest.
The majority of people who work where I work have stress/work related health issues, including anxiety such as myself, depression, insomnia, high blood pressure, carpal tunnel, arthritis, asthma, viral infections, pneumonia etc. And I was even told by the doctor that my breathing issues, have to do with where I work. In fact right now as of yesterday I have a really scratchy and very sore throat and I just got over a cold, so I thought !!!
So after this talk, though I really want to wait until next year after my taxes are done, which I may still, I'm going to get my eyes and teeth done, use my benefits and find another job even if it means doing 2 part time jobs and quitting because it's affecting my health so much that I feel mentally, emotionally and physically like I just can't do it anymore. I'm barely keeping afloat when it comes to my health. Luckily I get a reset on those fed days starting in January and if I can just hold out until perhaps November then I just might be able to not be fired with getting hit with maybe a half a point or something.
Sorry about the rant, I needed that but the point is that if you're in a work environment that you don't like and can't stand and health wise it's affecting you negatively, get out or make plans to do so! Also if you can't or are say in a job that you like but it is affecting your health such as sitting at a computer all day, try to make adjustments with the bosses or some how make accommodations using ergonomically set up keyboards and mice with wrist pads and chairs. Do stretches and try not to eat deep fried foods from a cafeteria or not to eat out if you can help it and make your own lunches. It'll be healthier in the long run!
Next week should have some new recipes and by the way as promised, though it's not super healthy, I did make a nicely flavored lemon meringue pie from scratch using natural lemon and probably less sugar than the store bought preserved ones. :) Here is a picture.. and that's only because this coming week is our Canadian Thanksgiving weekend :). I will probably gain a bunch but that will not stop me from trying or even attempting to work out! So without any ado here is a pic of my first ever lemon meringue pie, thanks to help from my awesome parents who assisted in putting it together! :)
Have a great week everyone and enjoy your holiday to all my fellow Canadians!
Have a great week everyone and enjoy your holiday to all my fellow Canadians!
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