Sunday, January 20, 2019

Part 1: Toxic Masculinity


Welcome to 2019 everyone! I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while but I’ve been working a lot and also focusing on some other health related things as of late in my personal life and preparing for business for my crochet this year. 
 
I’d like to take a moment to again point out that this journal is an opinion based journal and that I am by no means a medical practitioner. I am merely voicing my opinion on items that are affecting our health as individuals and as a whole society whereby I will sometimes support my opinion and or claims by providing links or definitions of research I’ve done or providing examples of things I’ve personally experienced. You are welcome to voice your opinion in a polite and respectful manner. I say this because it has come to my attention that there are many out there that simply don’t like my opinion and that is perfectly ok.  What is not ok is to claim that I am , and I quote, “stupid, unable to hold an intelligent conversation “ and am a “pussy” or taking the “pussy way out” because I opt not to have discourse with a person who throws a tantrum and does name calling simply because I hold a different opinion than their own. Nor do I appreciate being told that I am “jealous” because I am hold an opinion based on personal experience. This one particular person’s comments and attitude, the items in the media and government changes to fundamental items such as education and health care here in my province of Ontario Canada, has sparked me to write these coming articles and topics.  I will add that I will be discussing political views held as well as it pertains directly with health overall as this is a “health” related blog. 
  
Let me begin with the wide topic of “Toxic Masculinity. First I will define what society has defined it to be and then outline examples of what is being discussed and lastly how it affects our health as a society. 
“Toxic Masculinity”, what is it? Personally from reading definitions and seeing it in action it is the way society has portrayed men to be dominant, emotionless when it comes to pain or certain sensitive topics such as love and affection. It is the idea of supporting one another even when the person in question is wrong to disrespect and violently bully and hurt another whether it be verbally or physically. It is an attack on those that are considered “weak”.   I quote some terms and definitions from the dictionary and from Wikipedia.
hegemony
he·​ge·​mo·​ny | \ hi-ˈje-mə-nē,
-ˈge-; ˈhe-jə-ˌmō-nē
\
Definition of hegemony
1 : preponderant influence or authority over others : domination battled for hegemony in Asia
2 : the social, cultural, ideological, or economic influence exerted by a dominant group
From Wikipedia I quote the following: 
“ Hegemonic masculinity is defined as a practice that legitimizes powerful men's dominant position in society and justifies the subordination of the common male population and women, and other marginalized ways of being a man.”
“Connell argues that an important feature of hegemonic masculinity is the use of "toxic" practices such as physical violence, which may serve to reinforce men's dominance over women in Western societies.[3] Other scholars have used the term toxic masculinity to refer to stereotypically masculine gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys and men to express, including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the "alpha male") and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger.[69]

In psychology

Terry Kupers defines toxic masculinity as "the constellation of socially regressive male traits that serve to foster domination, the devaluation of women, homophobia and wanton violence".[4][70] According to Kupers, toxic masculinity serves to outline aspects of hegemonic masculinity that are socially destructive, "such as misogyny, homophobia, greed, and violent domination". These traits are contrasted with more positive aspects of hegemonic masculinity such as "pride in [one's] ability to win at sports, to maintain solidarity with a friend, to succeed at work, or to provide for [one's] family".[4]
Toxic masculine norms are a feature of life for men in American prisons, where they are reflected in the behaviour of both staff and inmates. The qualities of extreme self-reliance, domination of other men through violence, and avoiding the appearance of either femininity or weakness, comprise an unspoken code among prisoners.[71][72] Suppressing vulnerable emotions is often adopted in order to successfully cope with the harsh conditions of prison life, defined by punishment, social isolation, and aggression. These factors likely play a role in suicide among male prisoners.[71][73]
Bullying of boys by their peers and domestic violence experienced by boys at home can also be expressions of toxic masculinity.[74] The often violent socialization of boys produces psychological trauma through the promotion of aggression and lack of intimate relations with others. Such trauma is often disregarded, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" with regard to bullying.[75]

Health effects

Men who adhere to traditionally masculine cultural norms, such as risk-taking, violence, dominance, primacy of work, need for emotional control, desire to win, and pursuit of social status, tend to be more likely to experience psychological problems such as depression, stress, body image problems, substance abuse, and poor social functioning.[76] The effect tends to be stronger in men who also emphasize masculine norms, such as self-reliance, seeking power over women, and sexual promiscuity or "playboy" behaviour.[77][78]
The social value of self-reliance has diminished over time as modern American society has moved more toward interdependence.[34] Both self-reliance and the stifling of emotional expression can work against mental health, as they make it less likely for men to seek psychological help or to possess the ability to deal with difficult emotions.[34] Preliminary research suggests that cultural pressure for men to be stoic and self-reliant may also shorten men's lifespans by causing them to be less likely to discuss health problems with their physicians.[79][80]
Now I want to show you examples of what is being talked about today. You see this new commercial by Gillette has been brought to my attention by Gillette. My take on it is not that masculinity itself is negative or harmful but in fact the idea of superiority of one gender over another is. The commercial, yes it has background video and recording of news reports etc that would be considered “against men” but it’s not about that. It’s about the men that do not take action. It’s about the men that do. The men that do are seen as those that are “better” men. I fully support that they are because any man that does not stand up and lets abuse, bullying, mansplaining , rape etc happen is to me not a good person. I understand that some may fear for their own life, understand where some may feel that if they do speak out then it’s considered unimportant or that they will be judged or shamed, however this is where we need to stand up and stop that mind set. We need not be afraid to speak out against what is morally wrong.

Now let’s speak about this commentary video I came across soon after watching the commercial on youtube. Good Morning Britan has a commentator that is very, for a lack of better and more polite words, not supportive of women’s rights and is the embodiment of what is defined as “toxic masculinity”. He mocks the ladies he works with and is interviewing, talks over them and disregards anything they had to speak about. The other, man, was doing the same and was accusing the women as mothers for not showing a man to do right. Yes the alternative ads in the past shows a father being supportive of their sons and doing the very “manly” things men supposedly do, however that’s not all there is to being a “man”.

A good example and a very good commentary on being man enough is this TedTalks video. This, this is what I want to see from men. It’s not all about being violent and rough and getting the woman so you can sleep with her. It’s about compassion, about caring for another human being and being able to share this. You should be able to also be affectionate, hug and be supportive without being assumed that you are going to be gay. In fact even women have this notion in our North America that if you are affectionate then you are assumed lesbian.

I now move on to education and how this affects us where in society we are indoctrinating our children with an ideology, a way of thinking that we have and should have segregation among the sexes.  It has been taught in school, where we do most of our socialization as children, that we must not be affectionate, that we must be doing our traditional roles. We were coming into an era where this was not the case and that gender is something that is not solely binary. That sexuality is just as diverse as our culture as humans and that we have evolved. But, our governments here in North America, particularly that of the states and of Ontario, have something else in mind. Here in Ontario they have now cut back the sex ed education and reverted back to 1990’s curriculum whereby it does not teach the proper consent nor does it teach equality. 

It has been proven that there are less unwanted pregnancies in the eastern European and Scandinavian countries than there are in North America.  One of the reasons is that they’re not afraid to speak to their children about it and they use the proper names for body parts associated with male or female and are accepting of different sexuality etc. So why can’t we embrace this thinking? Why then when we begin to go forward as with the Liberal government we then elect the opposite and opt to go backwards to where teaching of consent, teaching of different sexuality and acceptance of transgender and non traditional gender roles is then removed. The representative, the head of this conservative party, is saying they are “For the People”, where in fact they are not. They have been known to speak out against transgender, against women’s rights and against abortion. The states is no better either  and though I am grateful that I have universal healthcare in my country I must say that making abortion illegal or taking away the teaching of these things so that children are uneducated and engage in more dangerous things is not the way to go.  It also perpetuates rape culture and toxic masculinity.   

It also has been proven that humans need touch, need to be social and that if we don’t we literally can die. As babies we will definitely die. So why do we discourage it so much to love one another?
Some of you may ask why I’m concerned about this as I am not a parent. I am concerned because I am an aunt to boys. I feel that they should be taught not only in the home but also in society, by the media they are allowed to watch, by the music they listen to, books they read the people they talk to that it’s ok to be sensitive and creative and not like sports and that it’s ok and a good thing to treat women with respect.
One of the things I fear is that we are coming into an age like that of Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s tale. I admit I have yet to read or watch it but I have read and seen enough to know what it’s about and that makes me shiver that we are almost there. 

This also leads next to Feminism. What is feminism? To me it is to be supporting the equality of a binary system, of the two sexes. Let’s take a look at that next entry.

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