Consent and Children, Negative response and Negative Promotion of Rape Culture

This next segment leads me to Children and consent and violence on screen. I admit I'm not a parent and yes you may ask, well then who are you to judge what I allow my child to do and watch and who are you to tell me that it is wrong? Well I'm not. I do have young nieces and nephews, I did help raise my siblings, I come from a line of elementary teachers and I do have a sense of what's right and wrong and when watching certain child content and teaching a child in any way I do know by seeing behaviors reflected what is affecting a child's mental growth by how the act and or shall I say reenact.

I will begin with this online article. It is a perfect example of how we teach our children and the response as adults that we are getting. 

We ignore a child's right to their own body which we are teaching in the end that they are not responsible, that they have to obey authority and have no choices. I, being someone who was abused and taught by one parent, my mother unfortunately, who yes though has a mental illness, she was still in her right enough mind to have some control over her actions and function in society, can tell you with certainty that this is something we should be teaching our children. They should be taught that they have the right to their own consent and body and that simply because you are male or female that they are not responsible for someone's feelings towards them and their actions on those feelings.

When it comes to sex, I was taught that all of it was wrong unless you were married and that even then you were there to serve your man and have kids and that was that. No pleasure no nothing. So, when I did have my first sexual experiences it was one of admittedly, minimal to no consent. One could argue that it was and that I allowed it to happen and that is something I fight with too. In the end though it would be considered an act of rape since I did say no and that was not adhered to despite the fact that I did not fight. Some would argue and I argue with myself due to societal standards that because I did not fight I must have wanted it, because I allowed the foreplay I wanted it to lead to that, but this is not the case. I literally felt sick after. I had no feeling after that and became numb. I felt though even afterward with this person that it was my responsibility to please. Though I've come to the mental realization that this is not the case, emotionally it is still frustrating and damaging in my future relationships as I do not know how to fully trust. Trust is important in any relationship.

I now move on to violence in media. One of the articles I've come across is involving a show called Peppa Pig. Apparently, and I have seen minimal of this but enough that the show encourages not listening to adults and encouraging violence. Now this is not the only show out there but what we allow our children to watch has consequences. In fact an instance at a local store has gotten me to think about this as a child,no more than perhaps 5 or 6 came up to my friend and I with a wooden hammer and told my friend that they were going to bash their head in! The mother looked at us as if we had two heads and we were to blame when my friend told the child Noooo you will not do that and where is your mother? Exactly, where was the mother? She was in the next aisle not watching or listening to her child and she did nothing other than whisk the child away and give us a dirty look as the child again began repeating the comment! Leaving us with the question of what has the parent been allowing the child to watch or what is going on in the home to encourage this type of commentary or behaviour. What is influencing the child and why are they acting out?

Children and speaking about their emotions is another thing that should be encouraged as we have learned even from the dashing Prince Harry as per another article I had found. 

We leave so many things in the past and untouched and we don't talk about what we need to. It encourages negative impacts such as this for an emotionally unstable generation.

Another , “politically speaking” act that Trump has now encouraged is removing the safeguards for those that are transgender. Now I don't live in the states and I proudly live in Canada where we are accepting and do have that protection. However, knowing that this is happening, knowing that there are supposedly reports of concentration camps forming in Russia against gays, this is all very upsetting and I ask what's wrong with the world!? We are all human and we were all physically built differently perhaps but it should be exactly this “It's not what's between the legs that matters it's what's between the eyes.”

One of my friends, who is having her first child, has agreed with her partner that they are not going to encourage one way or the other in regards for gender. They are allowing them to decide and I encourage that and am thankful for those, even growing up, that encouraged me to be whatever I wanted and did not adhere to those gender roles. My father especially never adhered to that as I was encouraged to play with both dolls and cars and trucks and it was thought too that no matter that I be a woman or not I should know how to take care of myself and do things myself. I can't rely on a man to do the fixing around the house! He certainly never relied on a woman for instance to do the cooking! Even grandpa cooked! I think that is simply awesome! 

This is where I leave you for now to think about these things and really consider your actions and what you do yourself to stop the hate, stop the spread of rape culture and encourage positive action and love towards others and ourselves.