Update on My Own Health

Here it is, near 6 months since I last wrote. I do apologize but working and trying to keep up with this among other items has made it quite difficult. Over the past few months I have caught colds and flu's and now twice bronchitis. My being ill has had quite the impact on my life. 

I recently went to the doctor, I was in pain and I've had enough. I told them my struggles and my concerns and they are 99% sure I have Fibromyaglia. Now this is something that isn't shocking to me because of family history and other things brought to my attention. For most it's something that could even be taken as not only shock but of grief etc. All those negative emotions get washed up. However, for myself it's more of a relief, something that can perhaps finally be put to rest once finalized in that I will have definitive answers. I will know my limitations. I will know what I should be doing to help my health and to cope. Without an answer you're left in the dark and confused. 

I leave this link about Fibro Symptoms here for you to look at. I have admittedly all but perhaps 3 on that list. That being said it's not just an "in your head" thing. It's actually quite serious. What makes me angry as of late is knowing that people who don't have these things or can't even begin to relate start telling you that you should "grow a pair" when you say you have anxiety about blood tests. or that "it's an excuse not to work". No it's not an excuse, in fact I would prefer to be working however if I am in pain then I don't want to overwork myself. Just because you have arthritis does not mean it is the same pain as myself and because I'm a grown woman , the concept now is that we should just get over it and that we shouldn't panic etc. Well also let me tell you that anxiety is part of Fibro and that whomever thinks it's all in your head, it's not. Fibro is essentially nerve pain and your neurotransmitters and nerve endings are not wired the way they should be and therefore people with this are more likely to have more pain or feel it more so than others and in some cases a simple touch can cause it to flare up and be painful. Emotionally and mentally it is very tiring and overwhelming. 

Just like any invisible illness, there is no "cure" and there is no magic button or switch to turn it on and off.  I am not faking, I am not using it as an excuse. I have always been independent and have done many things myself. To not have that independence at times is frustrating and it makes me sad that I don't have anyone around at home at times to help me out once in a while even doing simple things like chores or groceries. I ask you to think about this and put yourself in someone else's shoes a moment. Imagine that you suddenly can't do what you used to love and enjoy, things like going to a party with friends and socializing for long periods of time, or things such as simply walking in the sunshine. Imagine all that was taken away and though you might be able to do some of it, some of these things are not on a daily basis anymore or are more difficult and painful or overwhelming. More often than not, this is the life of a person with any mental health issues and any pain disorders etc. 

That is just a bit of my take on the situation right now. I will attempt to continue to post regularly, not only of my own health journey but of course there are many topics to come, especially with these new findings in my own life. I hope you all have a good week.