Today is stayed home, why you ask? Because of my anxiety and this horrible heat. It's not so bad inside but going out in it and the thought of walking in it or being out in it like I had been here and there yesterday is not appealing. Not only do I get all sweaty by the time I get to work, even sitting in a cab, but also I get a headache. Not to mention that I've also already got stomach cramps, sniffles, cough and a sore throat. The beginnings of a fall cold it seems. My anxiety is due to work admittedly and I'm just simply burnt out. I need the rest.
On the bright side, yesterday I was feeling ok and a friend of mine came over and gave a massage. She just graduated from massage therapy and is aiming to get her licence so I am quite willing to be her practice until then. It was needed and it's been suggested I do a lot more stretching. Perhaps I will get into yoga or Pilates a bit more because that seems to help. This overall process, of massage and stretching/yoga and just seeing my friend is a good for my mental health not just my physical. As of late I've been feeling really down when it comes to my self esteem, like I'm' not good enough but hearing my friend say things such as that I'm attractive in any way or that some guy will someday love me for my brains/randomness/uniqueness is uplifting and very encouraging. Us women don't usually compliment like that and we are always in competition with one another. There has been a lot of talk lately and through even my social media feeds of all kinds of body shaming. All through time there has been a different and changing standard of beauty and all through the world there are different standards. But should we be living to the standards? I think everyone has their preference and that the most important should be how you see someone from the inside out. By that I mean their heart and mind and soul not their physical because the physical doesn't last. It's the memory, the goodness you send out that stays in the world where the physical grows old and withers and dies. Do you really remember someone or know someone by their looks? No. You know them from what they say and do and how they treat others. So I just have to keep confident that somewhere in the world my soulmate is out there. Perhaps he just took a few wrong turns or perhaps I have and maybe he's on the other side of the world and we just haven't gotten there yet?
Moving on to the body shaming topic, I'm seeing more and more of it online. Social media has just opened up doors that were previously closed to do it more so to people you don't even know or see on the other side of the world. I will admit that even I have in my own mind done it not only to myself but to others and have judged saying to myself they are too thin etc and that they should be dressing more for their body type however, I do point out this is often only in my head and I have to remind myself and ask myself, what is the "correct" way to dress for that "body type"? Anything that is suitable for the workplace is for the workplace, modest and cover up, classy not provocative. Anything that is for the beach or a night out, well again depends on where you're going.
There was an article I came across about going topless, right here in Ontario. It's not illegal here to do so though some cities have bi-laws on it and at the beach though not illegal most including officers still have an issue with it and say it's law that you're not supposed to. Now this one article I read the lady found out that it's a)not illegal, b) there were no bi-laws in the area. there were comments made that putting her top back on or the suggestion of it was to protect children and families. Well you know what, here is my opinion on it. I don't think we should cover up our breasts because they aren't sexual. They were made to be by media and men. And if we have to cover up so do the guys because they have nipples too! We criticize women for breastfeeding even in public because why? Because they're breasts and it's "indecent exposure"? It's not, it's feeding and nurturing your child and something natural and something that children should learn as such that should be accepted. Why breasts have become sexual I don't think I'll ever quite understand but to me indecent exposure here would be going streaking down the streets. I'm not talking topless, I'm talking completely nude, baring all etc. in front of families and children. That is just not right.
This leads me to the topic of rape culture and cyber bullying. It's the new school year and there has been a lot of talk about dress code and even fraternity houses etc. promoting rape culture. When I speak about this I am talking about the signs that are being posted (mostly in the US right now that I've seen these articles but not to say it doesn't happen here in Canada too in some way or another) of guys commenting about parents dropping their "little girl" off etc. Also there have been comments about the whole "father protecting daughter with the shot gun" on the first date. I know that we would like to say that we want to protect our children but to teach them self respect and respect of others is the first step, then respecting them and sending them into the world on their own with the trust that they are people and that they can make their own mistakes and decisions is what makes them empowered to do good and we should give them too the knowledge that we are there to help them up when they fall, that they can in fact get up even on their own and try again. We should be speaking to our children about these behaviours and what is right and what is wrong and that we should support each other. We shouldn't be having double standards. I also bring to attention the thought that in fact guys can be raped and abused too! A lot of people don't think of this but it is true.
There has been a lot of talk about dress code, and what exactly is proper dress. As I said earlier classy not trashy is the goal and it's not that it provokes bad thoughts because in all honesty, a sharp dressed guy (by this I mean not just tailored suits, I mean nice non ripped jeans and dress shirt ) is pretty thought provoking for me. It doesn't matter if you were dressed head to toe in black with your hair covered and all, men/women are going to have thoughts because that is our carnal nature to do so! We want to breed. However, you don't want to dress like you're trying for that in a professional environment or a learning environment. So, don't let it all hang out! There shouldn't be a double standard. If you're gonna wear shorts for example, then make sure your butt and anything else isn't showing and that they are perhaps knee length. Still cool but classy. If you're going to wear leggings ladies then wear them with a dress or so a long top and not a crop top for example. The comfy pants I get, believe me, so wear jeggings? or pull on jeans or slacks? Guys/girls shouldn't wear tops that you can see everything, those are for the beach perhaps. A tank is fine but when you have the arm holes as large as your body, noooo! I also don't get the whole trend of holes in pants either. It looks trashy on both guys and ladies and so just simply don't wear them to a professional environment. Wear them on your day off/weekends/ at home. Don't wear them to school or work.
Moving on to another school topic is of course cyber bullying and as we know it's not just kids that do it but adults. I'm just hoping that we hear less of it this school year. There are always going to be bullies and it angers me that teachers can't do more because of legalities. It's online and it's in the classrooms and on the playground and though it was bad when I was a kid it's even more so now because as I said the internet has opened doors. Yes it's always been there but we now see bullying expanding beyond the confines of say your home town and local news and school grounds. We are showing our children to do bullying by commenting too on various media outlets, that it's OK to say that so and so is trashy because they are fat or dress not to cover their curves or their baby belly, among various other comments. Ask yourself why you make fun of people? Some people do antics on purpose and are meant to be laughed at but there are even comedic sketches that just, aren't funny. It's downgrading to people in general. We do it to think ourselves as better or superior in some way or another. But are we really? To be honest with some things we downgrade ourselves and our humanity by downgrading others.
Lastly I'm moving on to adult acne issues because this has been a source of my own experience with bullying. I have been a sufferer of acne since I was a teen and was bullied for it. There was not a day that I didn't have someone comment and one day I remember clearly of a friend at the time, who you would think would be supportive, laughing at me alongside her sister telling me I had a nose that looked like Rudolph because of a big pimple right at the tip. You know that was not only embarrassing but also just infuriating. I couldn't believe the comments that were coming from someone I thought was a friend. So goes to show that those that you think are your friends, may actually not be as well and may be speaking poorly behind your back and insulting you in such a degrading manner. This is why I'm glad for the very few friends I have that are supportive and have been with me for quite some time ( you all know who you are).
There are some natural acne remedies that I may try for my acne, and here is the link to just some that I have found. In fact I'm thinking too that by doing more working out will also help with skin and other health issues. Here we come full circle back to my own health and that concludes this entry. If anyone has tried the link and remedies, then please share your results. Please also share and comment on your experiences and stories if you have them. It's good to get it out there. Knowing you're not alone in this and sharing can save a life!
Here we enter September with positivity! :)
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