Here yet again, 2 weeks late. However, as many of my readers know hard times have fallen upon my family in the past few weeks with my mother being in hospital. I will have to say it is increasingly difficult when pressures are put on from every which way to "deal" with things and to make sure that everything gets done. I, as the eldest, and the closest child to where my mother lives, has been given the multiple tasks of making sure her gas is turned on, trying to contact varying important people, who by the way, it becomes very difficult to do when you work, and you have other things on your mind including your own health, and most importantly when those people you contact don't call you back. Trying to balance everything and or trying to talk to people such as ODSP (Ontario Disability) who clearly aren't understanding the situation or even if they do, can't help due to law of privacy act, can't provide you with information. Because I and or my sister are not power of attorney and no one has been assigned as such 1. because no one has yet and 2. because my mother hasn't assigned anyone, then they can't provide any info.
This being said the update is 1. that we can't get her money redirected to hold her place of where she is staying.2. Her gas may or may not be turned back on at this point but the person I've been contacting hasn't contacted me back as per my requests nor can give personal info via email apparently about the situation. 3. My mother is as of speaking to the doctor today, going to be in the hospital for some time. I'm frustrated also that it has been strictly and solely put on me that I am to monitor, take care of and clean up after things for her. Though there are support groups for counselling and such there are minimal supports for those in need of financial guidance in these types of matters. As of today also upon speaking to the doctor they would prefer that I help in making the decisions for her medical well being which that I have no problem doing. Finances has however never been my forte. I'm not about to allow my mother to lose her home, especially when this place is low income and did I ever mention that it was designed in an area and community just for those people who have mental disabilities such as what she has? So how can they threaten to kick her out on the street?
There are a great many things I've learned over the past few weeks. Needless to say that those with certain disabilities, in most areas, seem to have more rights than the average person. How this is I don't know but it is increasingly difficult to help those people. I've also learned that it takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to deal with these sorts of things, I commend those who deal with it in the medical profession and I thank my e-counselor as well for guiding me these past few weeks to help my own personal strength become apparent. There are a great many things I've now learned positively about myself that though perhaps I've heard things before, didn't want to accept or couldn't bring myself to accept.
I've been told that I should start a journal or some kind of scrapbook that would be used as a "happy" or positive book with sayings etc. or even things that I've been told or said for encouragement to move forward. Things that make me happy and beautiful things that I see in an artistic way. I also am considering a new or even a future in writing where perhaps if I take some courses or put that as a possibility then I will be able to get a better job. My job, though I love customer service, is not the one I want to be at and it's time to look at a different direction using the talents and skills that I've been given or gained.
Being mentally and emotionally happy is one of the first steps to being physically healthy is what I believe. When I'm happy or things aren't stressful then I feel better, like I can eat better and just feel like I can do more. When I'm tired, stressed, feeling negative, then I feel sleepy and like crap and don't want to do anything and more that I'm just plain sick. I'm glad also I took tomorrow off to just get some things done and relax, perhaps look into writing courses or options and jobs and also too take more time for me. This week has been a decent week and one that well.. It was my 30th Birthday on Tuesday and so yeah I was completely selfish yesterday and today and did nothing but relax, sleep,eat and play games or watch movies. I got to relax with my family who made me home made lasagna and cakes and played video games (active ones as well as sitting ;) ) on the Wii.
I have to say I love the Wii because it encourages activity rather than inactivity. I even challenged my step brother to Dance Dance Revloution, Zumba and Just Dance 3. :) And of course my parents took part in some of the action with a bit of Monkeyball Step and Roll! where you use the will balance board or the remotes to play.
To further the update in brief about my mother, it has been determined that she is in a highly sensitive emotional state where she has extreme sensitivities to being around people etc. and is still extremely paranoid. She is currently still in the safe room and unable to have visitors or phone privileges at this time. She has been many many years off her medication and has never stayed consistent on them. It's sad to see or even just hear about her in this state but I'm hoping that with the right doctors, medication and counseling she will eventually be able to go back to the community and be able to communicate with her family again. I admit that I do miss the times she did seem stable and actually had fun with us dancing and singing and enjoying life. But I also don't miss those abusive moments where admittedly again I don't know when or at what points she was actually on or off her medication. There were a lot of scary times that she most likely would be in denial of or even know that she did. I know at one point it did pain her to admit and know of some of what she did but she blamed it on a certain person, again increasing her paranoia and delusions, her alternate realities she has created in her mind.
I can imagine it would be quite scary and almost like feeling trapped, not knowing what reality is real or not. I feel for those families and people dealing with family members or friends with this illness or any mental illness, and I feel for those who have it. I encourage anyone who does have it or any other illness such as depression etc. to seek help and continue to take medication, it's there for a purpose. No matter how better you feel, don't stop taking it without a professional directing you to do so as it can certainly, as I've experienced and seen, have devastating consequences.
Well that is all for now I guess. Oh and one last thing, unrelated so to speak but another link has been posted to the side for Healthy Canadians. It's a government site that has some useful information including about recalled items etc. so check it out!
Take care everyone and I hope everyone is preparing for an amazing holiday season! :)
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